Thursday, November 29, 2012

shadow blogs

   * = original creation date

Blogs on Fanbox

*March 27:

The sky turns dark, the crystal is tainted.  The darkness fills the open sky as the sun runs for cover.  The fun is gone, the love dead.  There’s nothing left inside, wiped clean by their betrayal.  The castle walls have fallen, they cannot be repaired. I am finally released from my imprisonment to see the world as it really is.  As a tortured soul in this world of sadness and sorrow I’ve never found true friendship or love.  As my heart gets torn apart, I can only wonder why I’m here.

*March 28:

There’s no such thing as true love.  No matter how much you love a person there’s no way that they will stay true.  People can’t be trusted, I hate them all.  I’m tired of all the betrayal and hate; I just want it to go away.  No matter what I will never give in.

*April 2:

Nobody ever responds me, do they even care? The tortured soul that lies within shall never be free.  I lie and wait for someone to find me, but nobody comes.  I can feel the darkness edging closer and closer.  Will anybody show me the light?

*April 4:

The darkness takes hold of those around me.  It will soon bring them to their knees. Be careful of what you say and do, you may regret it.  Those who think that there is still hope left are doomed to exist.  The darkness shall come and strike, it will rule over all.  Do not fool around for the time has come for the darkness to reign.

*April 7:

The prince of darkness may have found his princess.  It is she who gives him life.  They shall rule together for all eternity, never looking back.  For their love is strong and their will unmatched.  Nothing could break the bond.  Is she really the one? Only time will tell in the end.

*April 8:

The prince of shadows yearns for a princess.  He calls into the darkness, won’t someone answer?

*April 14:

What are we but pawns in this chess game called life.  We are manipulated by simple acts and temptations.  Once the cards are dealt and the bets made, there’s no turning back.  You can go ahead and fold, but in the end your chips will be gone.  There’s no stopping the unstoppable, we can’t control the impossible.  At some point we have to realize that we can’t control everything the way we want.

*April 26:

To see the beauty that life holds you must look into your heart.  To see what true love is you have to make sacrifices.  To understand true friendship you must learn to love others.  To get help you must first give help.  To earn the trust of others you must first learn to trust them.

            Poem: The Nothing

            I walk this highway that seems to be endless in length,

I follow this trail that never ends,

I live on the fine line between heaven and hell,

I’m perfectly balanced, but never flat,

I try and try to control myself,

But sometimes I just have to let go,

I’m living a life, in which I’ll never be free,

Always hindered by my flaws,

I’ll never understand,

How I’m so different, but at the same time the same,

I am so unique in who I am and what I do,

But there’s a little bit of everyone inside of me,

On the outside skies are clear,

The sun is shining bright,

On the inside storms ravage my heart,

It’s being torn to pieces,

I lived a life of betrayal and hatred,

My heart has been turned black,

No matter how hard I try I will never win,

I’ll always be the underdog,

I hate what I am but I’m stuck this way,

I’ll never be the person I want to be,

I’m good; I help those in need,

I’m evil, I make others suffer,

I’m perfectly balanced, but never flat,

My mind is torturing me, it never stops,

Going going on and on, will it ever end?

I’ll never fit in, but I don’t care,

I am who I am; I wouldn’t change it for anything,

No one understands who I am, they never will,

Until they live a day in my shoes, they have no say,

I am intriguing, but never interesting,

I am special, but never important,

Who I am is for me to choose,

I’ll be who I want to be,

Until they understand me I’ll never be accepted,

They judge by the eye and not by the heart,

I’ll never back down; I’ll never give in,

No matter the problem I will never run away,

Love will not conquer me, I will prevail,

It is a foolish emotion that always ends,

Someday I’ll be important, someday ill matter,

But until then I’ll be a nobody.

*April 28:

To live the life I have is torture.  No matter what I will never give in.  As far as I’m concerned the world is wrong.  Does nobody see what's going on?  We are destroying ourselves.  We are setting ourselves for failure.  I will never stop till I am heard out.  Someday they’ll all listen.  At least for now I have some people on my side.  Thanks to all my friends for all the help and comfort.

*May 2:

So as long as this cruel world tortures my soul with tainted love, I’ll never be free.  For me to be loved is a joke.  This world is full of liars and haters.  I’ve never felt so desperate for someone to talk to.  The world might as well burn in hell because that’s where it’s headed anyways.  The darkness is coming...

*May 5:

I walk a path that continues on to no end.  I will never be free.  I hate my life, nobody ever listens to me.  Hardly anyone trusts me and not many people like me.  Most of my so called "friends" are just using me.  I don’t care; they need me more than I need them.  Without me they wouldn’t have anyone to hang out with.  I hope the world burns in hell.  As I cry myself to sleep each night I come to realize that...I’m so...lonely. :(

*May 6, may 11:

Darkness and despair fill my heart as I live day by day.  I walk around with a black hole for a heart.  Can nothing fill the void?  I will always be the one bird that never leaves the nest; the one fish that never learns to swim.  I will always be alone; never will someone be by my side.  I am destined for greatness, but doomed to live in solitude.  Even though there are people I care about, they’re never close enough.  It takes years to form a mountain, but just one small stone to cause an avalanche.  Everything I have cared about has been taken away from me.

*May 12: poem: Darkness

The sky turns dark, the crystal is tainted.

The darkness fills the open sky as the sun runs for cover.

The fun is gone, the love dead.

There’s nothing left inside, wiped clean by their betrayal.

The castle walls have fallen, they cannot be repaired.

I am finally released from my imprisonment to see the world as it really is.

As a tortured soul in this world of sadness and sorrow I’ve never found true friendship or love.

As my heart gets torn apart, I can only wonder why I’m here.

What are we but pawns in this chess game called life.

We are manipulated by simple acts and temptations.

Once the cards are dealt and the bets made, there’s no turning back.

You can go ahead and fold, but in the end your chips will be gone.

There’s no stopping the unstoppable, we can’t control the impossible.

At some point we have to realize that we can’t control everything the way we want.

To see the beauty that life holds you must look into your heart.

To see what true love is you have to make sacrifices.

To understand true friendship you must learn to love others.

To get help you must first give help.

To earn the trust of others you must first learn to trust them.

Darkness and despair fill my heart as I live day by day.

I walk around with a black hole for a heart.

Can nothing fill the void?

I will always be the one bird that never leaves the nest;

The one fish that never learns to swim.

I will always be alone;

Never will someone be by my side.

I am destined for greatness, but doomed to live in solitude.

Even though there are people I care about, they’re never close enough.

It takes years to form a mountain, but just one small stone to cause an avalanche.

Everything I have cared about has been taken away from me.

*May 20:

We are nothing but checkers on a checkerboard of life. We let others control our actions & move us wherever they want. We move from square to square just trying to get to the other side.  To exist w no existence is like not being alive. We all wish to exist for a reason. We all have one, but it’s most likely not the one we want.

(manic starts)

*May 25:

Open your mouth and speak; my angel.  Speak so they may hear your beautiful voice.  That voice at which calls upon the light within me.  It is you who can set me free.   Just call out thy name and reveal thyself.  Just reveal who you are, deep down inside.  Reveal thyself so I may release the darkness seizing hold on my heart.  Do it now, for me. 

(manic end)

*June 1:

In this world I must live alone. No matter what I do no matter what I say, I’m always alone in the end. This world conspires against my aching heart, torturing it to no end. It will never let me keep a companion. All my life all I’ve wanted was love, but destiny would never let me have it. Will the dark clouds encircling my heart ever lift?

*June 8:

Darkness, darkness, all around. Hatred ruling full and abound. Why won’t someone answer my call? There is a hole in my heart that can never be filled. I have dug myself a hole and am now being buried (alive). The darkness really is coming this time, and I like it. I’m tired of fighting off the unstoppable. Without someone next to me, I would become the one thing I fear the most. I’m afraid of letting this maniacally evil demon out from inside of me. If I were to lose those who I care about ((like you kitty)), it would be the end for the angel inside of me. That’s right, I’m angelic AND demonic.

*June 15: Crossroads

My time is coming, the darkness edges closer and closer. So much to know, so little be known to me. Why does everything have to go wrong? Does this world not hear my cry? As I shed these tears of despair, I wonder if there’s more to my life than there appears. Am I meant for more than what I’m doing now? What is my purpose? To build? Or to destroy? As the paths of time twist and turn, I learn bit by bit of who I am. I’m tired of waiting, TELL ME NOW! I MUST KNOW WHO OR WHAT I AM!!

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