Tuesday, February 26, 2013

MORE (STOLEN) VIDEOS!!

these videos were made by xarity on their own youtube page. i, uh, "borrowed" them. so give credit wher credit is due, and im not talking about my theft.

RESIDENT EVIL AND SILENT HILL; MELT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EKpPvlqzFo&feature=youtu.be
RESIDENT EVIL/SILENT HILL HALLOWEEN BIRTHDAY PARTY:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJp0m6O66PI&feature=youtu.be
RESIDENT EVIL/SILENT HILL VALENTINES DAY PARTY:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPtMjJIlAkM&feature=youtu.be

my first album: Y.U.C.K.S. and F.U.C.K.S.

track 1 (a list of letters): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_YzEOKuSbU&feature=youtu.be
track 2 (akward conversations 1): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6zYpIR0CcA&feature=youtu.be    [conversations 2-5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-E7uZLsw00&feature=youtu.be
track 3 (akward conversations 2-5): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-E7uZLsw00&feature=youtu.be    
track 4 (analorgies): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0F8s9Lqxng&feature=youtu.be
track 5 (arctic terrier): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5IgzZzNttk&feature=youtu.be
track 6 (glass bottle serenade): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfBWM82IKto&feature=youtu.be
track 7 (it puts the lotion on my hands): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WaEV9m_vhs&feature=youtu.be
track 8 (my celebrity wish list): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llYdisMfrBY&feature=youtu.be
track 9 (pieces in the middle east): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85fpbqFUsrE&feature=youtu.be
track 10 (real news show 1): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQ-2xwCnMOE&feature=youtu.be
track 11(real news show 2): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdxtnrIhbus&feature=youtu.be
track 12 (olypic games in the middle east): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtmqDmBdth8&feature=youtu.be
track 13 (TWILIST): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6opnuPm544&feature=youtu.be
track 14 (gym class domedy): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwEPAi8EAKg&feature=youtu.be

PREMONITION DIARIES EPISODE 1

so here is something new!
PREMONITION DIARIES - a list of things that i have either seen, heard, or experienced before they actually happened. some of these dont have dates, as i just started dating like a week ago. logs of premonitions followed by a sombering soul-soothing super-terrifying supernatural short story. without further ado:

day one
entry one
insanity:

1. As i was dreaming i got a glimpse of what my electabuzz stats would be once my elekid evolved. When i finally evolved it on my pokemon emerald rom it had the exact same stats. (Date and time unknown).

2. As i was shopping at walmart i desperately needed a cart. I wouldnt have made it to the front otherwise. <Turn right and look left> i took a right and to my immediate left there it was, a random empty shoppping cart. I couldnt believe my luck. And i will be looking forward to my cash treasure later this month. (01_06_2013;11:45AM)

3. i spent a day hanging our with my best friend and near the end of the night i bought a lottery ticket. after about an hour of thinking what we would buy with our money IF we won, we both went to bed. that night i had a dream where i was reading a lottery ticket. the numbers on the ticket turned out to be the same numbers on the winning ticket that were announced the next morning.

4. playing solitare on my computer i suddenly got dizzy, amidst a game i realized i was going to win, but lose the next two games. turns out i did exactly that. (02_22_2013;01:35AM)

5. had a strange dream that i was playing with a teddy bear dressed as a cheerleader wearing a white and red uniform and holding a stopwatch in its paws. next day i told my friend and she told me that her mom had gotten the same dressed bear and her grandfather had recieved a new clock.


and now as promised, your sombering soul-soothing super-terrifying supernatural short story. hooray! alliteration!
P.D. chapter 1:
night in suicide manor

five teens, five teens that nobody knew, five people that nobody knew anything about.  chance brought them together and fate will tear them apart. five teenagers, each different in many vast ways.  shannon the cheerleader, jude the new girl, tom the jock, jake the wallflower, and timmy the dorky short boy.  each going to the same party hoping for something different.
shannon, a boy who wasnt a conceded asshole. jude, a friend that she could show her around the new school. tom, a hot girlfriend who he could show off. timmy, hoping he could find at least one person his age shorter than him.
the four teens standing in the living room of a deserted old house.  outside a storm was raging, the wind and hail turning what was previously a beautiful starry night into an inferno of deadly cannon fodder.  the four teens were cold and wet, this being the first time any of them had seen each other.  tom began to advance towards shannon, and noticing his movement she quickly walked over to the other two teens to avoid him.
a bolt of lightning illuminated a shadow moving down the hallway, unnoticed by everyone; well almost everyone.  the four teens walked over to the fireplace hoping to warm up. meanwhile, the storm continued to rage outside. the four teens began to chat, not being able to find common ground, they continued to be silent.
the mysterious errie light that filled the abandoned house made mere wooden chairs and tables into specters of ghost and demons on the walls. suddenly a mortified scream erupted from down the hall.  seconds later a puddle of red liquid trailed around the corner. the four teens could smell it, the dastardly scent of iron and feces. the four teens knew it, they were not alone this night.
terrified, the four teens huddled together in fear. finally tom, realizing someone needed to take charge, stood up and proposed the group split up to try to find a phone.  call the police and then run home as fast as possible; forget the past.  shannon and timmy decided to check the kitchen, leaving tom and jude to see what happened in the hallway corridor.  the group split up and headed off, leaving their fatal decision as the last thing any of them would ever do.
tom and jude walked slowly towards the hallway corridor.  clearly terrified, with both their legs convulsing like a man on death row feeling the final bolts of thunder tear his body asunder.  shannon and timmy were no different, the both of them hoping that they would be spared.  tom rounded the corner and,
"no! no, thats not possible!" he thought, staring down what was now an empty hallway.
jude rounded the corner and her face contorted in confusion.
"someone died here! and yet the blood and smell is gone!" she thought, in confusion.
tom, turning around to talk to jude; the entrance was gone.  the open doorway they had just passed through was now gone, replaced with solid wall.  and in the other direction was a hallway corridor littered with tattered old paintings and tapestries. tom turned around looking down the empty corridor, a flash of brilliant lightning illuminating through the only window there.
timmy and shannon had found the kitchen; not much to see.  besides a lowly empty dog bowl, the kitchen was primarily empty.
"so nobody lives here, yet there is a lit fire in the living room and a dog bown here in the kitchen," thought timmy curiously.
shannon was searching for a phone, when a small light near the sink caught her eye.  walking over, she realized that it was the refridgerator door.  wondering why it was open and running in the first place, her curiosity got the better of her.  she opened the door to see what was inside, spotting a lonely carrot on a plate on the middle shelf and a can of soda. without thinking shannon grabbed the carrot and began to munch it down, not noticing the dark shadow slowly looming up behind her.
jude, walking closely behind tom, when she paused to look out the single window. 
"wait, is that a cemetary?" jude thought, curiously.  "but that wasnt there when i walked in here." her thoughts continued.
looking back down the hall corridor, jude noticed tom was gone.  beginning to get scared, she started walking quickly down the hall corridor.  one window, two windows, three windows, four windows,
"why cant i find a way out?! jude thought nervously. "and how many windows are there in this hallway?!" she continued axiously.
jude looked behind her, the lone window and a single door the only things there. she turned around and began walking towards the door. the door and window vanished, jude now facing the same way she was before.  she turned around again, again, and AGAIN. "is this house spinning on a top?!" jude screamed in her head.
there was a sudden light tap on the window, as a small pebble sailing on the stormy winds hit the window.  jude walked over to take a look outside, figuring that maybe she could get out throught the window. as she got closer and closer to the window, the wind outside began to pick up.
"what are you doing?" asked timmy calmly.
"um, just getting a snack," said shannon, caught off guard.
"in some strangers house?!" retaliated timmy in confused annoyance.
shannon took the carrot and placed it back in the fridge. as she turned around to talk to jake, she paused, noticing the look of horror in jakes eyes. as she prepared to ask him what was wrong, she could see a huge looming shadow behind her.  before she could think, the entire fridge dropped on top of her.
the smell again filled the air, iron and feces; timmy staring at shannons crushed corpse. he began to back up, realizing now that something terrible was in the house with them. beginning to duck and run towards the kitchen door, timmy ducked, barely dodging a meat cleaver flying towards his neck.
"i have to get out of here!" timmy screamed in his head. "help, i have to find help!" he continued.
jude was staring out the window, the storm beginning to get even worse.  she knew that if she wanted to get out she would need to find a way to climb into the garden below and find another way inside. tap, tap, tap; small branches and pebbles began to pelt the window. jude knew this was her only chance.
CRASH! something large and bulky slameed through the glass window, knocking jude onto her back. a flash of incredible lightning lit up the dark corridor, the wind and rain pouring in through the collapsed wall.
"no! NO!" screamed jude in horror, "how did this happen to him?!"
toms lifeless body lie on the floor, a rope hanging around his shttered neck.  the rope hanging from a bell tower outside, began to dance in the raging storm, like a line in a fly fishing contest. the smell of death filled the air, jude could practically taste the lust for blood.  something did not want them to be here, something sinister and evil. jude turned around, preparing to run; as she felt something grab her leg.
lifted into the air by something she couldnt see, jude began to flail around trying to break free. she felt her ankle snap as she was flung carelessly out the hole that was previously home to the window. jude began to fall towards the earth below as the wind and rain swirled endlessly around her. then with a resounding thump, she landed. as blood poured out the hole in her chest she felt life fading away. the fencepost now replacing her heart became her resting place, as her final life flowed out her lungs.
timmy ran and ran, every hallway an endless trail, every doorway becoming a one way entrance. it seemed like escape was impossible. timmy finally found a door leading outside; opening it to see judes final moments as she became a lawn decoration, impaled on the backyard fencepost. the storm making visibility impossible, timmy knew that running away would be near impossible. odds were that he would end up circling right back into this death trap.
the sound was familiar, he could hear it in the distance.  the tornado sirens were blaring in town, this was no longer just a bad storm.  timmy could feel his ears as the increasing pressure began to fill them up. the cyclone was coming, soon this home of suicide would be nothing more than a pile of rubble and crushed dreams. no escape outside, no safety inside, nowhere to run, and yet everywhere to hide. timmy knew this was the end, but he wasnt going to become some haunted houses bitch.
timmy walked outside into the raging storm.  as the widn and rain began to pick up swiftly, timmy could see a funeral plot near a large oak tree. he could just barely make out the names of the people buried under the headstones.
"well, i guess this was a futile effort after all," muttered timmy calmly to himself.
timmy closed his eyes and thought of the joys his life brought him, as the cyclone hit with all its force.  the headstones and tree shaking, they read:
"here lie four brave teens, who tragicly lost their lives amidst a terrible storm. though only one body was found, these four teens will always be in our hearts. R.I.P. shannon colortsi, jude strauss, tom ronos, and timmothy dalkner."
"jake," a faint voice could be heard.
"jake!" the voice becoming louder.
"JAKE SUMMERS!" the voice was yelling in his ear.
"MR. SUMMERS! YOU CANNOT SLEEP IN MY CLASSROOM!" yelled the voice again, waking up jake.
jake was staring up at the face of his high school english teacher, mr. conos henderson.
"oh, im sorry sir," said jake, still feeling a bit hazy.
"class ended four minutes ago mr. summers; so please head home," said mr. henderson calmly.
jake got up from his desk, still trying to remember exactly when he fell asleep. this seemed to be a new thing, he would black out at radom periods of time and wake up after having terrible dreams and nightmares, with no memory of going to sleep. as jake was headed for the front doors to the school, a girl walked up to him. he recognised her, she was the new student who had transferred only a week ago in order to finish her freshmen year.
"hey, so me and a few other people are going to carpool tonight to a years end party," said the girl, calmly.  "we are going to celebrate getting through our first year of high school unscathed," she continued.
"and you wanted to know if i wanted to come with you guys?" asked jake, inquisitively.
the girl smiled as she asnwered, "well mostly me, but yeah."
jake thought for a second, and responded, "if you dont mind me asking, what is your name?"
the girl frowned in confusion, "my name is jude strauss; me and shannon colortsi, tom ronos, and timmothy dalkner were going to carpool together."
"i think i will turn that offer down," said jake calmly. "no offense, but i hate big social events." he continued.
"well dont complain when we all come back for the last school day of the year and youre the only one who didnt go," said jude firmly.
"dont worry, you guys wont have anything to brag about tomorrow." jake said, his voice sounding somewhat sadistic and mad.
jude smiled slightly anxious before responding, "im sure that we will have TONS to talk about tomorrow."
jake took a small breath and responded firmly, "NO, you four wont be saying ANYTHING, come tomorrow morning." as he he contorted his face into a sadistic smile.
"whatever!" said jude happily as she skipped away happily.
as jake walked out the front doors of the school, he looked behind him towards the rural hills behind the town. clouds were beginning to cluster together and the air was becoming slightly humid.
"it looks like its going to rain tonight," thought jake to himself as he began to walk home. "better get home before the downpour starts."
THE END!
(OR IS IT?)

Sunday, February 24, 2013

dream log: episode 7

episode 7
01_25_2013-01_30_2013

the humping elephants
My reason for such a long time span is because from 01/25/13 to 01/28/13 I was terribly sick and stuck in my room with no food or water or anything. It was on 01/27/13 around seven pm that I had a fucked up dream. I was in my old bedroom with my old folding bunk bed. Except that I was lying on the ceiling and looking at my bed below. Disoriented I tried to reposition myself only to knock over a damn can of soda. I decided I’d had enough and got up.

On the night of 01/29/13 I had a dream sequence in which it sounded like an elephant orgy was going on in my living room. Constantly thins slammed into my bedroom wall and door. Eventually it stopped, but I could swear that some kung Fu elephants were decking it out outside my room.

"i am but a lowly king, here to make sure my loyal subjects are happy and live fulfilled lives. to those who shun me or my ways, two walls to every door; my mind is made."

dream log: episode 5


Dream log
11_26_12
The power within the power within
I dreamt that I dreamt that I was sleeping at a McDonalds. My glasses were broken and my clothes filthy. I was walking through my neighborhood with a bike next to me. While two black girls followed me around. I woke up and was going to call my parents but they were there with dr. bowman and all my worst teachers.


"i am but a lowly king, here to make sure my loyal subjects are happy and live fulfilled lives. to those who shun me or my ways, two walls to every door; my mind is made."

dream log: episode 6

Dream log
episode 5:

12_08_12
triple threat
i had just gotten finished in escaping a dream where i had unholy electrical power coming off my body.
I began to get attacked by hoards and hoards of zombies and demons. All while something kept trying to posses me in the real world. Amidst all the chaos sabrina needed a bone marrow transplant. And all this taking place in or near my parents house.
In the garage there were two female spirits watching me. And as i kept getting deeper and deeper into the dream the fights became slowly more violent.

12_14_12
I finally saw my full potential. I saw a beast with a massive set of fang blades and this weird energy. The power was horribly demonic and all consuming. It literally brought fear into people’s hearts. The energy aura was scarlet red and coal black.
Then I realized that what was happening was wrong. I shattered the power using light and regained control. I will not fall prey to darkness again.

12_18_12
wakedreaming:
I had a weak vision of a memory. It was me standing in some amusement park that had a waterway in the center. I had a young boy and girl next to me. Even though none of us were a day over 6 years old.I feel as if my very life and the memroies in it have become corrupted somehow.

"i am but a lowly king, here to make sure my loyal subjects are happy and live fulfilled lives. to those who shun me or my ways, two walls to every door; my mind is made."

ITS JOHN LENON THE MOVIE! (sort of)

Its john lenon!

announcer [deep herioc male voice]: ITS JOHN LENNON!

me [calmly]: im not john lennon.

announcer: hes totally john lenon!

me [getting frustrated]: im not john lenon.

announcer [energetic and annoying]: hes john lenon; look as he plays the bass guitar!

Me [annoyed]: imnot john l- wait what the [looking at the guitar in my hands] where di the guitar come from?!

Announcer:  hes john lenon and hes one of the beatles!

Me [pissed off}: listen you! Im not john lenon and im not a beat- [looks down and sees scarabs swarming all over my feet and the ground] YAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! SCARABS!! GWAAAAAHHHH! [begins to run back and forth while the scarabs crawl all over my body] CALL THE EXTERMINATOR! CALL BATMAN! CALL BILL COSBY! YAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Announcer [still calm and heroic]: hes john lenon!

Me [running back and forth half naked and covered in scarabs]: im! [runs off the left screen] not! [runs across the screen and off the right side] john [runs back across and off the left side of the screen] leno- AHHHHHHHHH! THEYRE EATING MY EYEBALLS!

Announcer [totally ignoring me in the background]: its john lenon! OOOOON FIRE!

Me [standing with no eyes and with my clothes gone]: wait did he say- [my body randomly ignites on fire] GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! FIRE BAD! FIRE BAD! [proceed to roll back and forth across the screen while on fire.] GWAAAAAHHHH! [rolls left] AAAAAAAUUUUUGH! [rolls right].

Announcer [spontaneous and erradic]: come meet john lenon today!

[I get up completely covered in burns but uninjured]

Me [tired and coughing smoke and ash]: well, at least its ove-

Announcer [interrupting me]: john lenon in a thong!

Me [standing in a thong still covered in ash]: whoo [shudders a little] actually I don’t mind this one [smiles slightly].

Announcer [happily eerie]: a thong! [pauses briefly while I bounce around a bit in the background.] made from high explosives!

Me [annoyed]: OH COME ON!

Announcer: uranium 230 ore!

[I stand there with the thong glowing for ten seconds with nothing happening.]

Me [relieved]: whew, I guess it’s a dud!

Announcer [like a movie trailer announcer]: MICHAEL BAY!!! [the thong randomly explodes and sends me flying off the screen screaming].

Me [after crash landing back on screen]: [weakly with little air] that didn’t even make sense.

Announcer [energetic and excited]: HES JOHN LENON!

Me [weakly]: im not john-

[the screen goes black and the credits roll.]

END!

the adventures of joshua dildo episode 7

the adventures of RADIOACTIVE GUY! (WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS!)
episode 1: THE POWER OF ASS!

(WARNING ADULT CONTENT AND LANGUAGE USED!!)

NARRATOR (deep commanding voice): it was a bright and sunny day and- ok you know what? screw this happy sunshine bit! who wrote thus crap? a four year old hyped up on halloween candy?!
DIRECTOR (nasaly obnixious voice): just read the script scotty.
NARRATOR (slightly annoyed): fine, but- (flips through the pages) what the hell? "he took a bite from the microwave burrito, not realizing that a piece of uranium ore was wrapped inside and it wasnt a burrito at all". HE GETS HIS FUCKING POWERS FROM A URANIUM BURRITO?!
DIRECTOR: just read your part and stop skipping ahead.
NARRATOR: seriously, how would you go about eating a uranium burrito? and wouldnt that turn your farts into atomic bombs? for that matter how would you even make a uranium burrito?
DIRECTOR: just read the script!
NARRATOR (annoyed): oh fine for gods sake; it was a dark and rainy day-
DIRECTOR: no thats not what it says-
NARRATOR: hey fuck you todd; im reading this the way i damn want to. ok now wheres my fucking paycheck?
DIRECTOR: this is for charity.
(silent pause for 10 seconds)
NARRATOR: MOTHER FU-
(intro music plays)

it was a friday afternoon and doctor peter dick johnson jr. was preparing to head home for work. he still questioned hsi decision to go into proctology. it isnt really a great conversation opener;
"hey hows life going for a pretty lady like yourself".
and she would respond, "im just waiting around for someone, maybe go on a date or more. what do you do for a living?"
"oh i spend my life shoving my fingers up guys asses-"
and she would be gone before the sentence is finished.
life as a proctologist is bad enough, it really didnt help that peter glowed like a lightbulb half the time.  ever since he accidentally ate a microwave uranium burrito-
NARRATOR (deep annoyed voice): the fuck?! seriously?! how the hell do you accidentally eat a uranium burrito?!
NARRATOR 2 (normal confuse voice): hey man im trying to tell a story here!
NARRATOR (sarcastically): oh really? i thought i was listening to a lexcture on existentializm and the properties of evolution from charles darwin.
NARRATOR 2: really?! i didnt think i was THAT g-
NARRATOR (annoyed): no you imbecile! this is the most idiotic story i have ever heard! and why is the main characters name four different yuothanizms for penis?
NARRATOR 2: hey shut up and let me do my job!
NARRATOR: no you shut up you damn horny toad.
NARRATOR 2: youre a toad!
NARRATOR: seriously? thats your best comeback? who writes YOUR material, your SON?
NARRATOR 2: man this is his stupid book! im only reading it so he will stop bugging me.
DR. PETER JOHNSON: HEY CAN YOU BOTH SHUT THE FUCK UP?! IM TRYING TO LIVE OUT THIS STORY HERE!
NARRATOR 1 &2 TOGETHER (in shock): holy mother of cow shit! youre real?!
DR. PETER JOHNSON: yes i am and i am getting annoyed.
DIRECTOR: hey stop it you three! your breaking the fourth wall! OH GOD NOW IM DOING IT! GWAAAAAAAH!
(after many hours of fighting and screaming the story continues.....sadly.)

dr. johnson was once the worlds most highly credited proctologist. now he is the worlds most renouned ass digger who occaisionally glows like a neon sign carelessly hung above the fron door of a strip club. living a life as a walking human lightbulb was not really as interesting as dr. johnson though it would be. add the irony of his full name being four different slang terms for penis, and he pretty much hit the freak lottery.
life before the accidental ingestion of a radioactive burrito was not much worse. by day dr. johnson is a world renouned glowing proctologist; by night dr. johnson is...still a world renouned proctologist. what? did you think i was going to make some stupid superhero batman reference? seriously?! the man is abou as subtle as a cat wearing musical sneakers and a stick of lit dynamite while trying to sneak out of a dog park. have you ever tried to run away from the cops with light up sneakers?! its fucking impossible! like playing battle ship in front of a mirror.
anyways, radioactive ma-
DIRECTOR: WHOA HOLD ON!
NARRATOR: oh for gods sake! what the hell is it now?!
DIRECTOR: you cant call him that.
NARRATOR 2: wait why cant we call him radioactive ma-
NARRATOR: because that name is already been copyrighted.
DIRECTOR: how about the human torch? cause he glows?
NARRATOR 2: no thats also copyrighted.
DIRECTOR: then how about we change the story so that he has a girlfriend who gets sick and only true love teetering on the edge of date rape can save her?
NARRATOR 2: sleeping beauty.
NARRATOR: and snow white.
DIRECTOR: then what if we made him fall in love with a werewolf and have the relationship practically a furry porn?
NARRATOR: beauty and the beast.
NARRATOR 2: and american tale.
DIRECTOR: THE FUC- fine! lets turn everyone into frogs and make the whole story horribly racist!
DR. PETER JOHNSON: the princess and the frog.
DIRECTOR: what the hell?! how did you get in here?!
DR. PETER JOHNSON: i dont know, but have any of you had your prostate checked latel-?
NARRATOR: hell no you arent shoving your hand up my ass!
NARRATOR 2: ah heeel nah muntha fuckah! aint nobody stickin anythin up mah ass!
DIRECTOR: wait when did you become black?!
DR. PETER JOHNSON: i can has anal exam?
DIRECTOR: has everyone her gone mad?! (pauses for a second) wait if you three are here....then whos acting the doctors part at the hospital?
(meanwhile thousands of miles away...oh wait thats something else. meanwhile at the hospital a man in a brown coat and wearing a brown hat is being escorted out in handcuffs by two police officers.)
THE DOCTOR (in a british accent): hey, you cant arrest me! im the doctor!
OFFICER 1: sir you not only do not have a liscense to practice medicine; you dont even have any identification on you.
OFFICER 2: and that thing you call a screwdriver completely incopassitated a six year old boy.
THE DOCTOR: but i am the doctor! (as the officers slam the back door of the squad car shut.)
OFFICER 1: man that was almost as bad as those kids with the taling dog who we arrested for breaking into the 9/11 crash site.
OFFICER 2: and they were chasing some man in a gorilla suit.
OFFICER 1: man why dont people just leave the fucking law in the hands of the people who are liscensed to take care of it?
(back at the studio)
DR. PETER JOHNSON: im sure he'll be fine; i bet right now hes already had his hands inside tons of guys asses.
DIRECTOR: when you say your job like that it really DOES sound gay...
NARRATOR 2: shut up theres a penis in my butt.
NARRATOR: wait what was that?
NARRATOR 2: what was what?
NARRATOR: you said theres a penis in your butt.
NARRATOR 2: no i didnt.
DR. PETER JOHNSON: no, no, i heard it too.
NARRATOR 2: who cares what you think? your entire life has been based off invading the bungholes of every man you see.

HEY HOW ABOUT ALL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I BURN THIS STORY WITH YOU IN IT?! I AM TRYING TO ENJOY A SIMPLE STORY AND ITS TURNING INTO A PILE OF DONKEY SHIT!

DIRECTOR: who the hell is that?
I AM THE READER! I HAVE AUTHORITY OVER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THIS STORY. I COULD SKIP TO THE END IF I WANTED.
NARRATOR 2: i call bullshit!
DR. PETER JOHNSON: i call hacks!
NARRATOR: this isnt a video game you imbecile!
OK THATS IT!
(fast forward tape noise.)
"SO RADIOACTIVE GUY, FINALLY RID OF HIS TIRESOME POWERS, WALKED OFF INTO THE SUNSET. HIS PURPOSE NOW FINISHED, HE HOPES THAT SOMEWHERE OUT THERE HE WILL ONE DAY FIND PURPOSE FOR LIFE AGAIN.
NARRATOR: son of a bi-
(ending credits roll)
THE END! OR IS IT? I DONT KNOW, IM JUST A READER! A READER WHO LOVES SPOILERS! SPEAKING OF SPOILERS:
1. snape kills dumbledore
2. harry is the tru owner of the elder wand.
3. light yagami dies
4. pumira is secretly working for mum-rah
5. ichigo kills aizen
6. momo dies
7. gin is a good guy and gets killed by aizen.
8. yugi moto beats jaydin yuki
9. saske beats naruto
10. sym-bionic titan never finished its series\
11. direct tv isnt worth the air their employees breathe
12. ashton kutcher is a total douche
13. all the homunculus die, including father
14. inuyasha gets together with kagome
15. ganta is a badass
16. ash ketchum never grows up
17. rose and jack could have both lived if they tied their life vests to the board they were floating on.
18. steve never went to college, he was just caught doing crack backstage.
19. the cake is a lie.
20. roarshock dies\
21. they all die at the end of dawn of the dead.
22. mitt romney lost the 2012 election (can you believe some people still dont believe that?!)

Thursday, February 7, 2013

GUESS WHAT! IIIITS DOOONE!!

so my first months project is finished. THE REAPER PROJECT, as it is called, is now up on youtube. i am going to do one project a month and as for this month, well lets just say that when this months project is done you WILL be able to fit a circle into a square.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5m3HxWhDnGg&feature=youtu.be
CHECK IT!