this weeks word: "turkish delight"
thought of after i remembered the chronicles of narnia book "the lion, witch, and the wardrobe". following a family whose parents never seem to make an appearance, a group of kids who should really be in school travel through a wardrobe in their attic that transports them to another world called narnia.
well theres a snow witch (anyone wondering why elsa turned evil? i blame rush limbah), theres a goatman (whose parents love story i would rather never know), and theres a lion jesus. the witch offers the boy "turkish delights" in exchange for information. and i thought "hey that totally sounds like a dirty sex thing".
so heres the urban dictionary result for "turkish delight":
1. a damn fine chocolate bar, although original turkish delight- the jelly stuff they sometimes put nuts in, made in turkey - is not usually eaten with chocolate. 0r is ''rose flavoured'' but a fry's turkish delight tastes damn good.
[mmm yum yum, rose flavored candy thats not really considered candy. can i just have the rose?]
2. A delicious kind of candy which you should definitely try when you visit Turkey. It is called "lokum" in Turkish. It is also used when talking about a beautiful woman.
[wait, women are referred to as "delicious candy". i know people who have earned their red wings and that aint strawberry filling that comes out my friend.]
3. a sweet confectionary food originating from turkey made from starch and sugar. variations include dates, pistachios and walnuts. can also be infused with rosewater, mastic and lemon. are finally coated in icing sugar and served.
[wait its made from starch and sugar? yeah we have that too here in america, its called cinnamon toast. and doesnt a turkish delight already taste like roses? i might as well bite into a damn bouquet. and they take starch and sugar, mix it with dates or pistachios, and cover it in sugar filled icing? yeah sure, have fun with your sweet smelling bowel movement and the funeral after you go into a diabetic coma.]
4. An unexpected surprise that occurs during a bisexual three-way in the shower when the participants get covered in female projectile ejaculate, semen and scat.
[sounds like a hell of a saturday night. that, and who said a bisexual threeway involves a girl? what if its a bisexual guy and two gay guys? "hey suzie get in here! we need a favor!" also im assuming they mean two straight guys plowing the lower landing strips of a bisexual womans body while holding her in the air. cause gay people hate vaginas.]
5. A recipe really:
1) Shave your balls
2) Moisten said balls.
3) Coat thoroughly said balls in powdered sugar.
4) Offer said balls to be tea bagged.
[tired of that old lemon and chamomile tea? try our new ballzac tea! right so wouldnt you moisten the balls BEFORE shaving them? and wouldnt the powdered sugar turn to a slurry when mixed with the fluid? also moisten with what exactly? lighter fluid? and you cant offer to teabag your balls cause you USE your balls to teabag [anyone playing halo or destiny? my full first name is shitsherlock and my last name is noh].
6. Unexpected flatulence during oral sex.
[wait who farts now?]
7. A jellyish, rectangular candy with powdered sugar on the outside.
In 'The Lion,The Witch, and The Wardrobe, youngest brother Edmund is offered magical turkish delights (his favorite candy) by the White Witch, who promises to give him more if he brings his sisters and brothers to her.
[and thus we reach our end. try watching that movie now without thinking of something dirty.]
