Monday, July 20, 2015

quote of the day

when ones inner self is filled with despair, they can never accept the darkness that fills them, and thus can never trust another person. for fear they learn this darkness and become lost within a world without light.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

another dumb article [lets eat some ethanol! (or 56 NOT so great ways to eat corn)]



http://www.msn.com/en-us/foodanddrink/recipes/56-great-ways-to-eat-corn/ss-AAcLACq



ok so that's nice.....now lets see another article; one that lists 56 NOT so great ways to eat corn. and lets try to stay away from anything derogatory. like corn fried bull testes or something. well here we go:

im only listing 30:

1. out of the dirt.
2. popcorn made on a farm next to an anal thermometer testing plant
3. off the turn table from the music video to "anaconda" [you know the one with nikki manaj]
4. from anywhere NEAR a nuclear testing site
5. from Edward cullens ass
6. popcorn served at a hepatitis awareness meeting
7. with a sitophiliac
8. with a Chremastistophiliac...cause the corn would probably never make it home....
9. with a nasophiliac....good luck describing the smell...
10. with Charlie sheen and a drug lord
11. with stir fried octopus penis
12. out of a giant stir fried dung beetle.
13. with deep fried pig intestines.
14. while watching "the hulk"
15. out of a hose inserted into an ethanol fueled engine.
16. out of a pair of pants given to you by tommy lee
17. corn on the cob.....only the cob is a live python.
18. number 1. with number 4. while you do number 14.
19. served in a side salad made from poison ivy, poison oak, skunk spray for salad dressing, and with the president of fox telling you about their next movie based off a popular franchise
20. while a fan of the simpsons explains homers progression as a good father compared to peter griffins intellect.
21. insert your own here
22. while reading this god damn stupid list.
23. while your mother explains why she is dating the guy you just met 3 months ago who was breaking into your house
24. while a  Chremastistophiliac, a mysophiliac, and a Coprophagiac have a conversation about the importance of cleanliness.
25. number 1. with a Mysophiliac next to you.
26. Me paseo bolas de demoliciĆ³n, mientras que despluma pollos muertos para ganarse la vida, ¿quĆ© hacer?
27. from a milk farm that only uses bulls
28. while looking up at the sky, in a four way intersection, in the middle of a gay pride parade, on a Tuesday.
29. Ich bin ein wenig Teekanne kurz und dick. hier ist mein Penis, schau! its my Auslauf!
30. after a "copraphiliacs awareness meeting" in a building located directly between a waste treatment plant and a local waste management center.

want more lists? just ask. don't like something I say? go ride a wrecking ball and pluck a chicken.

another dumb article [what men hate about their wives (or wheres the article about why two guys DONT want a salami up their ass?)]

hey now, with the exception of 5 [cause I would die if she did that, literally get sick and die], 6 [because i dont need someone else to change me cause i change myself when its needed and rarely is], and 9 [cause that would NEVER happen and SHOULDNT be happening if you aren't single cause that's like saying your partner isn't good enough for you]; I actually WANT to have my partner do those things.

1. that's just plain sexist against men. lots of men are sensitive and we are willing to talk about our feelings all the time. only men who are anal retentive refuse to talk about feelings, and any man who is too scared to talk about how he truly feels is no man and doesn't have the right to call himself a man. men are strong, and I cant stand men who don't share their feelings. if you can get a man like that to share his feelings once then that's perfect. as the journey of a thousand miles begins wit a single step [and aiming your compass towards the southern hemisphere, wait who the hell walks a thousand miles? wouldn't you be dead before you even got to 300 miles?! who the hell makes these quotes?! did a historian just walk around loony bins listening for things that sound smart? "confusious say, 'a great wall keeps out invaders. yeah well I had a problem like that once, I just started wearing belts whenever I put my pants on."] the path to healing starts with acceptance.

2. so what? if a man acts like a child he should be treated like a child. you wouldn't go up to a 6 year old who wants to be a cop when he grows up, then hand him a gun and tell him to go bust the crack house in the west end, would you? unless affected by outside causes, if an adult acts like a child they should be treated like a child. [oh yeah I can hear you...."don't lower yourself to their level....be the better man...." yeah well I ride wrecking balls and pluck chickens for a living, what do YOU do?]

3. whats wrong with this? if she shares the relationship with others it means she cares enough about you that she wants the opinions of others so she can help keep the two of you together. I would love if my wife shared our marriage life with others. that's how you make friends [and enemies and stalkers, but really what DOESNT make someone hate you or want to stalk you?
wife"hey, did you know my husband tom likes to ride wrecking balls while plucking chickens?"
random guy: "man I hate that guy, im going to destroy him..."
random guy 2: "hey that sunds like fun! im going to stalk him!"
no matter what you do in life three things will always be certain about your actions, 1. someone will hate it so much they want to make it illegal. 2. someone will care so little they wont even have an opinion. and 3. someone will like it so much they will try to turn it into porn.

4. so what you want an award every time you put the dishes awa- wait.....how is THIS a problem? are you saying that men screw up so much and we get so many things wrong that we deserve awards whenever our actions don't cause a war, a fight, damage, negative disposition, or a preacher to spontaneously combust cause we decided two guys humping a hickory farm sausage was a legal right and not a privelage? [which btw, anyone who says gays and lesbians don't deserve to marry or be in love have clearly never looked into the details of an lgbt relationship. I don't know anyone who would WANT to shove an 8 inch sausage up their butt because they just felt like it. seriously chickenholes, all life has rights and all life deserves love. lgbt people feel love no more or less than the rest of us, and frankly studies show that children raised by lgbt couples typically turn out BETTER than those raised by straight couples.] frankly if I do something right I would deserve an award due to the fact that I can barely EVER do anything without causing some horrible unforeseen consequence. try to rake leaves ad I break the rake, try to dig a hole and I somehow invert the shovel [try inverting a shovel sometime and tell me that's not a miracle], try to inflate a bike tire and I create a bomb, try to put the dishes away and we end up shopping for new plates, try to walk two feet and I end up with blood all over my floors and a bandage wrapped around my foot. im a walking disaster waiting to happen, and really I would rather have appreciation for when I do something right, cause most times I screw up anything I try in such a way that people think I should get an award for the freak disastrous consequences I cause. but in all honesty you shouldn't do things so people will notice you or reward you. when you do something right it shouldn't be because you want people to notice you did something right, you should do it right cause that's the right thing to do. a hero is not someone who saves lives, a hero is someone who does what needs to be done because its the right thing to do.

5. HAHAHA! if se withholds sex as punishment, then return the favor by whacking it when shes not around and then withholding something she really wants from you [seriously though don't do that, cause if you do and I find out ill be sure SHE does one of the things I AM about to suggest below]. in my case I haven't had sex in 24 years, if you think a few days, weeks, or even months without sex will punish me; YOU ARE DEAD WRONG. I went 24 years without sex, I CAN GO ANOTHER 24. withholding sex as punishment is just plain wrong, specially when [as a woman] you could take the keys to his favorite  car, take the propane from his grill, child block his favorite tv channels [or better yet block anything that ISNT feminine related], make him go with you when you buy tampons and then tell him about why you need them, constantly tell him you hear noises and ask him to go check when hes trying to sleep, shave his head while he sleeps, put toothpaste in his shampoo, change his phone settings so that each time he gets a call the ringtone is a recording of your vvoice saying, "aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! [or some other horrid screaming noise you can make] I am very upset with you [insert your hubies name here]", swap his cologne with perfume, or even burn all his drawls and make him wear granny pannies instead. my point to you women out there is that there are much better ways to punish your husband if he really pisses you off. withholding sex is NOT a punishment, its a great way to have him cheat onn you then divorce you. if you wont give your wife/husband the sex they want for long enough, they will find someone who CAN. better he knows that you are mad rather than think you hate him and no longer want to be with him [and frankly if my s/o withheld sex or didn't talk to me cause she was mad at me I would think she didn't want me anymore and that I wasn't worth her time. then I would tell her that if she doesn't like me anymore that I don't want to be someone who makes her feel sorrow, and tell her to see other guys.]

6. if you try to change someone who needs to change you yourself are a worse person than the person who refuses to change. you cannot force change on others no should you try to change others simply because you dislike them. change can only come from within, and must be found by the person who needs to change. if you force change, people will resist; and thus will ultimately suffer. people must first find the incentive inside their hearts that makes them WANT to change. good or bad, change is healthy, it is important. you shouldn't try to change a mans flaws, and you shouldn't change yourself so that you meet a mans flaws. a woman should NEVER have to change who she is in order to find a man who will love her [or a woman who will love her, or a child, or a job, or cow, a goat, a rat, or a chicken]. what is a mans love worth if it means sacrificing your principles to get it. don't change to make others happy, change because you yourself WANT to be happy; because you yourself WANT others to be happy. if you don't wish to change yourself, either don't, or find someone who makes you WANT to change. change forced from the outside is temporary, change from within is permanent.

7. it depends on how important. I see it as a good thing if someone makes important decisions without me, it shows that they are confident and that they are growing as a person. but making certain decisions without your husbands input can be a VERY bad thing. vacations, bank accounts, huge purchases, new jobs, children, dinner plans; these and many other decisions should NEVER be made without your spousals consultation. its better safe than sorry when making decisions to consult your spouse first.

8. now any guy who gets upset by that is just a selfish asshole. im sorry, but I said it; rasing a child is a JOINT decision and a joint process. BOTH parents must consent on having the child and ANY consenting parents MUST BOTH help raise that child. if you are upset cause she wont "let you be the dad you want to be" youre a selfish asshole. you both raise that child and therefore you BOTH have to be that kids parents. that means that you must be the father your child NEEDS you to be rather than the father you WANT to be. and that means being the mother your child NEEDS you to be rather than the mother you WANT to be. you aren't your kids friend, you aren't their teacher, you aren't their boyfriend or girlfriend, you aren't their doctor, and you aren't their coroner. you are their parents and you must act like it. if you plan on having a child then look up the definition of the word "complete", THAT is your life once that child is born. and THAT is your life till that child is dead. GROW UP and act your age. or stay the same and never have kids.

9. if you aren't single, then don't ogle other people. otherwise you might as well shoot the person you are with and piss on their grave. if you ogle other people while you are not single, you are [as I stated above], a selfish asshole. if you aren't satisfied in some manner by your current s/o, then tell them and explain. if they love you they will find a way to help satisfy that aspect of your needs. if they don't, then ogle away all you want cause THEY are a selfish asshole.  [a word of warning though, if you wish others to help fill your own cravings you MUST be willing to help satisfy theirs. relationships are a two way street, so don't be a selfish asshole. in my case relationships are a ONE way street, because I dot care about my own happiness; I would rather help everyone else be happy then foolhardily attempt to make myself happy.]

10. ok this one I just don't get. apologies are easy, forgiveness is hard. if someone repents to you and they honestly are sorry, and you don't accept their apology; YOU are in the wrong. and every second you don't forgive them, you yourself are more and more a horrible person. if you apologized to someone you yourself hurt and you genuinely felt sorry, how would YOU feel if they just shunned you? "you cant deny the world ice cream, then eat it yourself; that makes you a hypocrite."

and most importantly
11. if he is unsatisfied with you long enough, you wont have him around anymore; and half your stuff wont be around anymore. [that goes the same for you fellas, piss her off enough and mistreat her enough and your going to be broke, alone, and homeless.]
also this article is just plain sexist against men. and it discriminates against lgbt couples, gay marriage is legal so lets see some info on their relationships or im suing the writer for discrimination.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/marriage/the-10-biggest-reasons-men-resent-their-wives/ss-AAcriAY?ocid=HPCDHP#image=11

Monday, July 13, 2015

apocalypse THIS!

in the grand scheme of it all, we are but one race, and one planet. we think of ourselves as the "dominant beings" of our planet and even our universe. we deplete our resources and isolate and punish those who we do not wish to see. starvation and poverty, death and ruin, fire and decay; we think of ourselves before others. so goes our nature, but not everyone is selfish.
we want to survive, we want to LIVE; and in our quest to thrive we sometimes trample those in pain. if we believe that we are the dominant life forms and we treat our planet like a regenerating creature of unlimited energy, WE WILL FALL. and if we believe we are the dominant life forms and deplete our resources till their is nothing left, what then? we find another inhabitable planet and travel there?
if there is another planet like ours out there in the megaverse [and believe me it IS possible], then THAT planet will have beings just like us living there. if the planet is similar to ours then it WILL have humanoid life forms. and if THEY are anything like US, then what makes anyone here think they will just let us waltz in and take THEIR resources? they will resist, defy, and ultimately we both will be destroyed.
and what if when we get to their planet THEY too have drained their own resources? is it really our right to claim dominion over another world that is not our own? and what about what other planets life forms? do you believe they will use our language, our words, the names we have given our elements, our people, our planets, and even our love? no, more likely they will haave different words for our planets, elements, our people, and even our language.
if we left this planet to go to another we would have to learn everything over again. we cant even all agree which measuring system to use, let alone decide who gets to live and die when our planet is doomed. who could say they would willingly submit to someone elses customs, their foods, their might and power, and completely assimilate ourselves till we cant even remember our own humanity?
anyone who thinks that we should find another planet as a failsafe is fooling themselves. it would be more financially reasonable to find a synthetic way of somehow renewing our planets resources. like coding the structural dna of everything we need to live into a machine that can replicate that material by using other...less useful...materials. mars looks like a barren desert wasteland incapable of supporting any life. but so does a lot of OUR world before desertification.
mars has plenty of iron, meaning plenty of raw material for creating industry. its a big BIG planet covered in LOTS of dust. the polar is caps are covered in LOTS of ice and snow, yet deep underneath there is chance of frozen life lost deep under the snows of time. the polar ice caps were once part of pangea before it separated, and pangea had tons of life. we even have found frozen cavemen and wooly mammoths, so whos to say that under all that ice their isn't an entire plethora of life and death that we know nothing about?
this is not just our planet, its our home; our world. it lives. magma flows through it like blood, continents move across it like flesh, plants grow on it like hair, light shines from it like eyes, and we live on it like bacteria. we are the antibodies of our planets heavenly body, and we should be finding ways to preserve it and keep it and ourselves alive rather than cannibalizing it like some deadly virus. when we bleed do we just empty out like a bullet riddled bucket spilling out water? no, our body converts other cells into more blood. when our bones break do they just fall to pieces like a jenga  tower made from wet tissue? no, our blood cells repair and reset the damage. when we close our eyes do we drown in utter blackness like a mammoth drowning in tar? no, we open our eyes and the rods and cones work to filter in the light and allow us to see the world and all its glory.
we are strong, we are brave, we are resilient, we are great. we. are. humanity. and this planet is our domain. we live here and we must die here. one planet, one life; we either all live together or we will one day die together.
that is my message, take it or leave it; I do not care. either we take efforts to both protect our worlds resources AND find more efficient ways to use and extract them, or forever remain deadlocked in the eternal struggle of our existence. we have to live together, but that doesn't mean we have to like each other.
"this is not the first world, this is not the last; what we have in the present comes from our past. rain or shine, from the dystopian and the divine; we have but one world. your world....and mine."

another dumb article [career verses currency (or is my job worth the price i pay for doing it?)]

okay those are some big numbers. but now lets see a reference article that lists the costs required to ACTUALLY GO TO AND GRADUATE schools with those degrees. yes those jobs pay a lot, and yes they are hiring a lot; but lots of things can negatively affect people who WANT these careers. credit, debt, intelligence, testing scores, your work experience, criminal records, facebook pages, and even other applicants. if you want that job, and someone else does; and that person is willing to do ANYTHING to get that job, then they may outdo you. sabatoge, lies, greed, corruption, a darkness lies in the hearts of all men. and even if you have perfect scores and perfect reputation; there will ALWAYS be someone who wants it more. the workforce is not some kind of beautiful entity that loves the people in it. its a jungle, a vast, aggressive, tightly clustered jungle. and if you aren't careful you might get killed and NEVER make it out. jobs are a privelage to us not a right, and you can be fired at any time for any reason. believe me I know people who were doing their damned best and doing everything they were asked, and they paid the price. im not saying that jobs are bad, im saying that people are bad. and some people are VERY bad, most end up in a hellish place that treats them like animals when they are LIVING BEINGS. but some of them don't get caught, and others never truly pay their dues. when you graduate from that college and get your dream job, make sure you can wake up in the morning and be proud of the people who pay you and the work you do. in a world full of oysters everyone wants pearls, but im fine selling necklaces.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/money/careersandeducation/the-college-majors-with-the-highest-starting-salaries/ar-AAcFAnW?ocid=HPCDHP

Friday, July 10, 2015

a seemingly racist joke thats really just an animal poke

a elephant and a donkey walk into a bar, there at the counter is a female dog on a date with a half-chinchilla half mink. the dog looks at the elephant and says, "hey when you buy beer for your house where do you store it? in your trunk?!" the dog starts laughing and the elephant retorts, "hey bitch, why don't you take that chink boyfriend of yours and shove your witty jokes up my hairy ass?"