Wednesday, December 12, 2012

the life and times of sp_on episode 9

which came first, the chicken or the....rooster?!

theres the people who say that the chicken came first. Then theres those who say the egg came first. Well what every idiot on the planet doesn’t realize is that ya cant even get the chicken without the rooster. If the rooster doesn’t fertilize the eggs before theyre laid, theyre just regular eggs. It’s the same in every species, including humans. Every species of animal is born from eggs. Some species are born inside like mammals, and others are born outside like reptiles. Either way you run it, eggs are just eggs if they aint fertilized. Even in humans, if a mans semen doesn’t fertilize a womans eggs, then the dang ol' eggs don’t produce babies. That’s why women have their period, its their bodies way of ejecting the useless dead material that was never fertilized by the mans semen. That’s also why a woman doesn’t have her period if she aint pregnant. So which comes first, the chicken or the egg? THE ROOSTER!! Well wattaya know I guess yer learned sometin didn’t ya?
so enough of the southern drawl. So you have the negative people who say that the glass is half empty. Then you have the people who say that the glass is half full. Frankly after ive lived my 21 years of a pain filled crap life im just happy if theres anything in the damn glass. But if I give this answer to that question people laugh cause they take it as a joke. They think it’s a reference to alcohol. Well all I wanna do is take a bottle of alcohol and slam it on each and every single one of their heads to knock some common sense into them.
life aint fair (aaand now im back to the southern drawl). if yer thinkin ya gonna get yerself a life that aint ever bad and yer always happy, then ya aint ever lived a real life. (is it me or does a country accent make getting bad news mor bearable? then again every country song i hear its always about bad news.) but seriously, life isnt going to be fair; the world cant revolve around you personally. thats as long as you dont weigh more than three times the planet and you keep a cool 10,000 plus degree body temp.
so unless youre the freaking sun your life aint gonna be all about you. life is about disappointment and mistakes, that we all learn from. what doesnt work teaches you to look for what will. the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. however the definition itself is insane, do you see any science in the sentence?
if you were to take a sledgehammer and thwack a picnic table over and over again and expect it to turn to dust, would that hammer not eventually smash the table eventually till nothing but dust is left? science is about results, and good or bad, results are important. in that very definition of insanity it is not expecting the same result and doing the same thing that is insane. looking at a book and expecting it to open without you touching it for days on end is not insane, as eventually you will either pass out, die, have a tornado blow your house away, or have someone else open it.
its when you do the same thing again and again and expect a result every time that would never ever happen. a good example is staring at your balls and expecting them to turn into acorns and sprout trees. i dont know why i used that as an example, but after a 100 years i CAN say that youll have a couple saplings; uh give or take a broken condom and two nplanned pregnancies. hey while im at it i get paid in peanuts, anyne want my nuts in their mouth?
ok so back to, what was it? realty? no wait thats selling home- oh no, that was the right word. i know personally what insanity is. insanity is not doing the same thing and expecting a different result. no. insanity is seing unicorns with dildos for feet, toasters for ears, bananas for noses, and horns made of ice cream; that eat the souls of bad internet memes to survive. insanity is thinking, following, or practicing anything that has nothing logical to it.
scientology is mostly insane, and that is a fact. but like every religion  there is a sliver of truth. by thinking of something that things therefore exists. otherwise why would people think of it? look at the wright brothers, they thought of a plane that could fly through the air. everyone said they were insane, but look at what we have now; FUCKING HOVER JETS!! so by the act of thinking of something that thing exists. and so far there really isnt anything i havent seen hollywood unable to create. and even if hollywood cant do it, the discovery channel and mythbusters eventually do (hell we have rocket plows and duct tape boats thanks to the mythbusters.
the world sure is a crazy wierd place. but i doubt that we are the only life out there.

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