the life and times of sp_on episode 15

to be or not to be...whatever i am

 

i have seen what i can be, yet all i create is chaos. i try and try to live in this shitty society, but im constantly reminded of everything i hate. all i wish is to be able to have all the people who ever hurt me honestly step forward and say what they did. i dont care if their lives are ruined, im tired of being called crazy, and being blamed for everything. im sorry but some poeople deserve a fate worse than death.
i will never surrender my will to anyone or anything; i know whats out there. yet it makes me wonder what theres left to life. i know a way of performing alchemy, i know how to achieve eternal life through science, i know a way to power the world without gas, electricity, nuclear power, or even water. i can stay up for days at a time without a single bit of coffee, and i have achieved a state nown as "no mind". its near impossible and can only be achieved through sheer force of will.
i will do what it takes to survive and my only reason to live is because i dont have to die. i do not need technology, i do not need a car, and i have breached the realms of the human limit. i destroy when all i want to do is help create peace. i know how to unite the world in peace and unity.
i have come to realize that i am too dangerous. with flimzy pvc pipe i have shattered my stove to pieces. i try to hold my rage and control it, but even i hve limits. it is the containment of this vaery rage that is hurting me. i cant explain it, but i have memories of a past, present, and future life.
i dont understand what the hell i am. i have no pride, shame, i envy nobody, i dont lust after beautiful women, i do not feel guilt, i do not feel embarassment, i have no care for human life even my own, i support abortion and stem cell research, and i support gay marraige and suffurage. yet i still feel love, i feel shame, i would protect innocent people from gunfire, and i am intruiged by humanity.
i do not tan, burn, rarely bruise, get cut, i can manually release a measurable electric charge, stun guns do little more than tickle me, and i am oddly skilled at things ive never done. i have dreams or soaring through the skies where i am free to do what i want. i wish to just soar into the heavens, yet i stay stuck tethered to the ground. people question why they should give EVERYTHING to god in their life. i question if a god who requires EVERYTHING from you in life can give you EVERYTHING after death.
what the hell am i? and when will the answer come?

 

you think you can ever claim the powers of god, you are dead wrong. the powers of god contain all wisdom ever learned, all power and war ever fought, and every spirit that exists and all known creation. for only one human totry to contain any of these things would be an instant death sentence. the power that you are trying to claim is beyond you or anyones comprehension. being struck point blank with a meteor doesnt compare to the level of power you are trying to take.

 try imagining every planet in our solar system piled one on top of the other, imagine all the knowledge about those planets and their history, and imagine that an atomic bomb the power of one million atomic bombs is set to blow up. now imagine that the bomb is next to your left hand, the planets are next to your right hand, and the books with all the information of the universe are above your head. now imagine that below you there is nothing to stand on.

 now try to pick up the planets with your ledt hand, contain the explosion with your right hand so that nobody (even you) gets hurt, and learn everything in the books above your head. all without ever turning, switching arms, opening the books, or losing a single book off the top of your head. and imagine that while you are doing this you are standing inside a hurricane and you have to stay upright and not move in any direction.
you want gods power? that IS gods power. god is doing that very thing every day and night that we are struggling to live our lives. he does it nonstop and every day more books are added, more energy and things are created, and more wars and power is made. not only that, they are added to the existing weight and he holds them firm without moving. if you think you can contain that kind of power you are out of your mind.
that is why those three things are seperated between all life in the universes. power, wisdom, and spiritual energy are all spread through all known creation allowing that said creation to live without the three crushing it into oblivion.