so a blind man is getting ready to celebrate the fourth of july with his wife and kids. he tells them hes going to go fishing and cook what he catches for dinner. the blind man is out all day, and as his wife is about to call him he opens the front door and walks in the house.
"hey honey! im back; man you should have been there! i caught two of the biggest fish i have ever seen!"
said the blind man.
to which his wife responded,
"thats great dear, but could you please explain who those two women with you are?"
i get paid in peanuts where i work. so to everyone out there, does anyone want my nuts in their mouth?
Q: what are the special olympics called in mexico?
A: border jumping
Q: where do the olympic runners keep all their personal belongings?
A: in the pole vault of course.
Q: why do prostitutes like working at bait and tackle shops?
A: plenty of fly fishing
pamela anderson walks into a bar; three hours later she wakes up with a sore throat.
pocket pussy + dildo + lotion = one boring night
republican + democrat = one boring election, communist + terrorist = 9/11. (oh what? too soon?)
sun + moon = eclipse, son + moon = one naked ass, eclipse - your moms ass = a clear sunny day.
Q. if your wang is as hard as a prosthetic leg then what does that mean?
A. get a camera, find something to film, and stick that sucker on the tripod and record!
(btw, i am NOT here all week)
"i am but a lowly king, here to make sure my loyal subjects are happy and live fulfilled lives. to those who shun me or my ways, two walls to every door; my mind is made."
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