from the eyes of a roach episode 10

Relationship rules

 

Here are the basics of it: nice guys get walked all over. Mean guys get the girls through manipulation then break their faith in a good guy. The good guy tries to step in and gets turned down cause of the bad guy. You wanna get anywhere in life or get a girl to get to know you for the good person you are, you gotta be both.

You gotta be the nice guy that makes them feel safe and happy when they are around you and talking to you. But you gotta be the mean guy when you see injustice. You can’t let the bad guys mistreat the girls. You gotta be the one to stand up for her and do what’s right. You want to know how to earn a girls trust?

 

1st:

Listen to her, and I don’t mean just when she’s upset or talking about important matters. Listen to her and EVERYTHING she says. Don’t take a single word for granted, act like every word could be her last.

 

2nd:

Treat her as an equal, as a human being and not an object or something to be won or conquered. No relationship can exist where one tries to outdo the other. You must be willing to compromise instead of arguing. Respect her decisions and support her in any way you can.

If she says she doesn’t wanna talk, leave her be. If she isn’t in the mood, don’t try to make her do anything she doesn’t want to. If she isn’t looking to date, offer your friendship. Some girls really want reliable trusted male friends.

 

3rd:

If she’s upset, don’t sit there and ignore it. Ask if she’s ok and if she feels like talking about how she feels. If she needs someone to scream at, offer to be a substitute. Be sure that you, at all times, are on good terms.

If you do something you know will upset her, don’t lie and don’t hide it. Talk to her about it. In any relationship it’s an utmost importance to share feelings and express emotion from time to time. Be unemotional and you may lose her.

 

4th:

Don’t lie! Don’t hide! Don’t cheat! If she asks you how something looks, tell her honestly so she doesn’t go out looking like a blind monkey tried to match her outfit. If she asks you about something, tell the truth. A relationship based on lies is nothing more than an illegal immigrant applying for a government job. Remember that in any relationship that there will be things you don’t want to share.

But if you keep too many secrets, eventually they may bury you alive. Most importantly don’t cheat on her. You can disagree, but even looking at another girl to "check her out" is cheating. If you’re so unsatisfied with who you’re with that you have to admire others, then maybe it’s time you found someone else.

that goes the same for you girls, I don’t think you realize how much it hurts us guys self-esteem when you stare at another guy who looks more fit than us. We hate watching you stare at something we could probably never be, it kills us inside.

 

5th:

Don’t be afraid of rejection. Everyone gets shot down at some point, even hue Heffner. If you get shot down don’t let it ruin your life. Just keep going till you get to the one that says yes. For you girls, stop waiting for your prince charming to come! Life isn’t a movie! (If it was most of us would be killed in the crossfire of everyday life.)

Usually the nicer guys are too afraid to ask or are just shot down a lot. Girls, try a little role reversal. Why don’t you try asking a guy out sometime if you think he may like you or you like him? Don’t be afraid to ask, but on the other hand, don’t go up to someone waaaaaaaay out of your league and expect a yes.

 

6th:

Relationships aren’t all about sex. Get to know someone for who they are first and then make your decision. There are two types of attraction, physical, and emotional.  If you get to know someone for who they are you may just fall in love with their personality and forget all about looks. Sex is something that people take for granted.

Some just screw whoever they want once and never talk again. Sex should be with someone you really like or love, but you’re free to your own choice. Just remember that if she wakes up with a kid, you’re gonna be the one paying the child support and probably with a shotgun in your face held by her father. (The wedding cake is a lie).

 

7th:

If you ever wanna get into marriage, you need to be sure you’re compatible, know what both of you want out of it, know when you want kids and whether you even do. A marriage built on sex alone won’t last. A marriage built on having kids won’t last long either.

When the kids are gone what will you do? Have more kids? Really, in your early 40s? Yeah, a woman’s reproductive organs start shutting down about age 30/35. Good luck with that (and the assload of money you’ll spend on education, food, water, shelter, transportation, and medical care.)

 

8th:

spend more time getting to know each other than you do kissing and having sex (swapping spit and snot and shooting genetic material at each other is really great; like firing knuckle children when you are alone in your room.) The more you know about each other, the easier things are. The less you know, the more likely you are to strike a sensitive point that could destroy everything you’ve come to know.

 

9th:

Remember an average relationship lasts no more than 8-10 months. If you like someone and they’re taken its likely they will be single again within a year or two (given an apocalypse or two). Most guys don’t successfully marry till between their late 20s to mid-30s. Just remember that there are billions of people out there, in fact there are more girls than boys. (Thanks to that Y chromosome) Just don’t give up and keep your head high. Things will work out eventually.