a dumb police story: police find crack in mans buttocks

 two narcotics officers are on duty under the order to look into a supposed family that has illegal possesion ofv drugs. when the officers arrive at the house given to them, they call in to the station. the house is a beautiful large country manor with well cut grass and children playying in the front yard. the officers were sure that they had the wrong place. then they saw a man in a dressed in a light brown suit and grey pants open the front door and walk up to the kids. he immediately pulled out a plastic bag, but before he could react one of the kids kicked him in the groin, grabbed the bag and ran off. the man fell to the ground while the second kid took off after the first. the officers, now suspicious and worried immediately ran over to help the man.
"what happened sir?" asked one of the officers.
"that kid stole my bag of weed and crack!" shouted the man.
"are you admitting to possessing illegal substances sir?" asked the other officer.
while the man realized what he had just done, the officers decided to drop the bomb.
"sir you might as well tell the truth, getting robbed by a ten year old isnt going to look good in court," said the first officer.
ok, ok, ive been sellling drugs in my front yard to passing kids," said the man. "i have a good reason why im doing this though," continued the man.
"oh yeah, and whats that?" asked the second officer.
"my wife is addicted to the stuff and keeps getting ahold of it behind my back. i figured that if i got rid of it before she got her hands on it i could fix her," said the man.
"and youre selling it to kids?" ased the second officer.
"yeah, i figured i could sell the stuff to get rid of the evidence and get a few bucks while im at it," responded the man.
the opratives promptly aprehended the man and his wife, and confiscated the remaining drugs. now the only people the man is opening his door to are wearing blue or orange.