welcome to another episode of "sams world", todays episode: boxed revolution
okay so i take care of the family dog now [since my only family moved down to texas]. hes big so he eats alot and old so he needs special food. i cant risk changing his food since last time the brand quite literally nearly friggin KILLED HIM. but i digress. i get his food delivered from petsmarts online website.
ok now what is ALWAYS ON THE BOX when you get packages that nees to be handled carefully? "hNDLE WITH CARE" or "BE CAREFUL WHEN OPENING" in big ass hard to notice letters. well about four weeks ago i open the box my food came in and theres a big ass gash. my dogs resealable food bag is spilled out inside the box like the blood of an old slasher film victim or mob hit left under your sheets. its a mess, so i have to salvage what food i can and use crappy tape to seal the giant [and i mean giant like 6-7 inch gash], and pray it holds shut on this freaking 30 lb bag.
my first concerns are my dog, will he be ok eating the food? turns out yes. for an animal who regularly digs up other animals poo while trying to poo himself, im not shocked. my second concern came a month later, when i wasnt busy with work and these stupid lawsuits. i wondered what would happen if this wasnt food and was maybe like medicine or something compressed in a can or a stuffed toy. "here bingo! here boy! her- oh dear god! its everywhere!"
so i contact petsmart customer service with my concerns, pointing out the potential liability issues and the fact that my dogs !@#& food came slashed open with its guts spilled like gary coleman hopped up on sodium pentothol. this really was a rather nice experience, my first one in roughly a year with petsmart and ONLY one to date. they refunded my purchase [despite being past the date and having lack of evidence] and gave a prompt but polite apology. btw, ALWAYS keep evidence.
i thought this was where it ended, but next month i got my new box of food delivered [3 days after i sent my e-mail]. it came bashed in and dented, as if in anger or frustration [maybe they knew me? haha jk]. but i could give two sh*ts about the box condition as long as the bag was intact. which it was.
the dents werent what caught my eye though. it was a big ass label that said, "DO NOT OPEN WITH SHARP OBJECT", which for the record, had NEVER EVER been there prior to this date.
my first thought:
cool! mymy complaint made a REAL change in the world to affect it for the better!
my second thought:
well how the hell do they expect people to get the damn box open now? eat their way in?!
my third thought:
an image of someone eating their way into a box, choking, suing, then them putting a label also saying, "WARNING CHOKING HAZZARD, DO NOT PUT ANY PART OF THE BOX OR CONTENTS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH"
my fourth thought:
some fat guy holding one of the boxes in one hand, scissors in the other. he reads the "do not cut" label. goes to bite his way in, sees the other label, drops the box, screams, ignites, hair turn s gold, zoom out, nuclear bomb explosion scene
my fifth thought:
OOOOHHHH, I SEEE WHAT THEY DIIIIIIID.......
its a little thing called "corporate liability waiver" where by putting a label, a giant fucking label stating "DO NOT USE A SHARP OBJECT TO CUT THIS OPEN", they cannot be held liable if something happens to products INSIDE the box. they are obligated to issue refunds or hear cases, but with that label the business whom packages, ships, and stocks the items is lianble if anything happens.
also if something happens like this to you and you open your box to find your bought product slashed. DO NOT EVER MENTION USING ANYTHING SHARP TO CUT THE BOX OPEN. even if you did not cut it and damage it yourself, shrodingers penis says unless you have x-ray vision and cameras built into your eyes, stating anything close to "i went to cut it open" or i used my scissors..." will result in YOU getting screwed. MAKE SURE you omit any info in reagrds to that, simply stating i went to open it. if they ask how you opened it say anything that sounds dull. a key, a popsicle stick, shrodingers penis, even a butter knife [as they are renowned for being unable to cut anything].
overall i am satisfied with petsmarts service and customer service as well, and even caused a huge change in their packaging policys. also when and if you want decent veterinary services for your pets and ZERO lines or god aweful sterile claustrophobic waiting rooms, go check out the banfield pet hospitals. their vet staff are nice and curteous and pets feel more comfy there as they are in a pet store. plaus they offer apppontment times in stead of waiting.
No comments:
Post a Comment