pokemon game f**k yous [edit-05172018]2322

ok so here is an example of a few pokemon game f*ck yous. where pokemon learn moves or have aspects that just make no sense.

1. geodude in gen I can learn metronome. ok HOW. THE F**K? i gues maybe the way geodude when they spawn in groups and move they kind of teeter back and forth. but if metronome why not teeter dance?
2. magnemite, voltorb, and the shellder line lerning teleport in gen I. ok this just makes no friggin sense. unless of course we go on my theory that the black face and tounge inside the shellder, closter, and in the vines of a tangela are in fact a gastly that has posessed inanimate objects and evolved to survive in other harsh enviroments OUTSIDE the lavender tower. as this is the ONLY location in gen I where gastly and haunter are found. this explaination makes even more sense when you see that, holy f**k, gastly's evo line can also learn teleport.
3. ultra sun/moon giving trubbish/garbodor the move "automize". where it "sheds a part of its body to increase its speed stat." ok so with trubbush' evo line being a friggin bag of trash, how the f**k does shedding its bag make it faster? or is it more like throwing garbage? and if thats the case isnt that what gunk shot is for? plus trubbish evo line has "weak armor" as an ability. an ability that raises speed two stages and lowers defense one stage when hit by attacks. with already having weak armor, and the idea and image of a living bag of trash littering garbage and s**t everywhere to GAIN SPEED, and the fact that well nobody likes trubbish evo line, i think this was just done as a f**k you to the players.
4. the alteration of tm #28 from dig to leech life. like WHAT. THE HELL. WHERE THEY THINKING? dig is quite possibly the most useful move in the game, having use in the overworld, pvp, and even for pokemon weak to rock, steel, electric, and fire. but for reasons why they removed it: hawlucha, gligars evo's, arceus, type null, the list where a flying type could exploit dig and be immune to BOTH above AND below ground attacks was my best guess to why they removed it.
[edit-05172018]2322
5. mimikyu. just. mimikyu. its name is a pun of mimic-you, it can learn moves that make no sense. x scissor, drain punch, and of all things, WOOD HAMMER. if a pokemon that weighs less than 1 pound uses its body to "slam into the target" its going to look something like this:

and on that note, how exactly does it punch? it has no hands. least to say, whatever is under the rag on its body must be some kind of bug with a special tail.
wait...
unless...
it couldnt be...