conspiracy! WARNING! ALERT! POISON! TAINTED BOTTLED WATER SUPPLY IN BASHFORD MANOR WALMART! DO NOT DRINK THE BOTTLED WATER!

whatever you do don't buy or drink any bottled water or anything that includes bottled water at the bashford manor walmart in Louisville, Kentucky. it is tainted with an unusual substance that smells like paint thinner and chlorine. it makes your stomach upset, irritates and erodes the back of your throat, makes digesting food really hard, causes spontaneous expulsion of undigested food, dehydrates your body, and causes uncontrollable diarrhea to the point where you cannot control your bowels. DO NOT DRINK THE FUCKING WATER!!!!!!
this is no joke people; I recently got over an illness that mimicked strep throat a few weeks ago. this "illness" was actually caused by tainted bottled water that I bought at the bashford manor walmart. it was not a one time thing as I just recently bought two lunchables and both of the bottles of water had the same substance in them. it is clear, but smells distinctly like chlorine mixed with paint thinner.
if you drink bottled water and you develop the above symptoms, then immediately stop drinking the water. the only solution/cure for the tainted water is cough drops, advil cold and flu painkillers, fresh clean water, antidiarea medication, pepto bismol, throat spray, and tissues to blow your nose.
smell the water before you drink it. if it has any smell at all that's pretty much a dead giveaway that you shouldn't drink it. let people know so they don't get sick; and end up stuck in a bathroom for 12-14 hours (YES IT DOES LAST THAT LONG!)

time for poetry 11: "LEFT" AND "RIGHT"

“Left” and “right”

 

When “left” and “right” become more than directions.

Those in plight lose their affection.

No man left behind becomes an unbreakable creed.

Right and wrong becomes a herd of steeds.

 

Right angles form a square,

Leaving freedom confined in corners.

Delving into chaos,

The world loses its order.

 

The chair and noose become symbols of law and order.

Electric fences circle all the borders.

When the friends we left behind become our most bitter enemies.

Who’s right and who’s wrong turns to bloodiest of memories.

 

A world of sorrow

Brings a bloody tomorrow.

Enter your despair.

 

Remove the shackles that hold you.

Destroy the signals that control you.

End the eternal sadness and sorrow.

Live in a reflected tomorrow.

 

When “right” and “left” become more than directions.

Men on the left in naked affection.

Women on the right roped into baking.

Men cheating, lying and faking.

 

Directions become politics.

Men with breasts; women with dicks.

A bird with only one wing does nothing but cry.

Left and right wing together and the eagle flies.

Harmony without symphony is but a one man banned

Sacrifices lead to people being canned.

 

When “right” and “left” become more than directions.

Holocaust-like sorting and embargo reactions.

Countries at war led by crusades for peace.

Drowning in blood and human fleece.

 

Those left behind in senseless wars

The crimson oceans that cover the shores.

The best of friends turned bitter enemies.

The warmest of hearts turn cold and freeze.

You can’t solve war with a tilted kilt.

A man who refused to stand bears the same guilt.

 

When “right” is correct and “left” is wrong.

The world will drown in its pitiful song.

the dark side of poetry part 6: my heart will freeze

My heart will freeze

 

Its Christmas time and the snow is here.

Bells are ringing, angels singing; the trade of hope for fear.

The moist silent air filled with a flurry of white color.

Boxes tied with bows costing millions of dollars.

A time of peace and good will to men.

Visions of sugar plums drowning children in bed.

 

All the treasure in the world means nothing to me.

Without you here; my heart will freeze.

 

This holiday cheer means nothing to me.

As long as capitalism restrains the meek.

Presents and lights simply blind reality.

A holiday with you is what I need.

 

No gifts, no gold, but a glowing tree.

By which we stand together, you and me.

 

I want a holiday full of love and jeers.

A bright snowy day with love and cheers.

Just you and I in front of the fire.

No bows and no boxes; just love and desire.

I want a holiday with warmth and love.

Where you and I smile, and snow like doves.

 

All the treasure in the world means nothing to me.

Without your love; my heart will freeze.

 

Gods and mortals fall to their knees

At the sight of this most cherished of eves.

One night a year the world unites in peace.

Aint talkin’ bout Christmas; no. holiday ease.

 

Politically correct? Uncle Sam's boot up your ass.

The world forgot the traditions, replaced love with cash.

 

All the treasure in the world means nothing to me.

Without you next to me; my heart will freeze.

 

I put up a tree in the public mall in an effort of love.

You suing me?! Here’s the proctologist’s glove.

Fuck you and your Zionist greed.

Check your privilege and count your seed.

 

Next time you call the homeless man lazy

Or the immigrants a corporate smear;

Take a look at your corruption

And BUY A DAMN MIRROR.

 

So much corruption and reckless indifference.

Caused by lack of education and unheeded ignorance.

 

All the treasure in the world means nothing to me.

Without your love; my heart will freeze.

 

I stand strong and shit on spite.

My heart is yours, no need to fight.

Death is only a second beginning

A war over possession’s and reckless sinning.

Families murdered over cars and homes.

Innocents burned by soulless drones.

 

This holiday I don’t want a treat.

No candy canes or cookies to eat.

What I want is already at my side.

All I want is you next to me, to confide.

 

All the money in the world means nothing to me.

Without you here; my heart will freeze.

 

the dark side of poetry part 5: "chains"

“Chains”

 

He is the anchor slowly pulling you down.

Into the depths of the unforgiving seas.

Praying that you do not drown;

You try to swim to the surface gasping for air.

 

His failure is the chain wrapped around your leg.

Soon you will have to choose your path.

For you can only swim so long, struggle as you may.

Bound to him by a string of fate.

Deeper he falls into the endless abyss;

Sealing your death with a single kiss.

 

Constant pathetic insolence enabled by your blind ambition.

He drags you to your death, chained to his inhibition.

 

Standing strong you stand no more.

You stand alone on the ocean floor.

Save the leg, the body dies;

Drowning in the tears you cry.

 

Suffering together you have a chance.

Without your leg let’s see you dance.

I watch you falling down to your murky death.

 

Time traps ten thousand trailing tears.

You reach out to me, but you are out of reach.

The pain, like fire it burns, it SEARS!

 

I watch you go from an angel soaring wings spread wide.

To fall like Icarus crushed by blind tears and pride.

 

I stood by you to be your rock through the ages.

Only to watch him become your cages.

 

I stand and watch the tears I cried;

You dragged deeper and deeper.

Cut the leg off; breathe one last time.

Keep the chain on; fall fate to the watery reaper.

 

Chains of despair, solidarity, wrath, and sorrow.

Digging deeper, tying you down to the ground.

Chains that tear through today into tomorrow.

To the bottom; I will watch you drown.

what pets me the wrong way - part 6

"racial" confrontations

first of all you cant create racial controversy by declaring that santa is white because he doesn't exist. second of all you cant get in trouble by saying jesus was white because he died 2014 years ago and nobody from then is still alive. third of all I could say that santa is a Chevrolet with kangaroo legs for wheels, toast for windshield wipers, a ball of dung for a frame, windows made from cocaine, and instead of lights and a horn theres just a random naked bald guy shouting "monkey penis soufflé!" I could say jesus is a bouncing ball that spends eternity trying to find musical lyrics to bounce along to. I can say these things because the Christmas ideal of the fat jolly santa in the red suit who breaks into peoples houses to deliver gifts that were made in a sweat shop by underpaid elves, is just not real. and because nobody really knows what color jesus Christ is. and because who the heck cares what color skin anyone has? race is nothing more than a pigmentation alteration in human flesh caused by years of exposure to various types of light. race is nothing but a varying colored sunburn that allows humans to tell each other apart. getting upset over something as trivial as the color of santa and Jesus' skin is like nuking a city and then trying to piece it back together. or like elementary school graduation; it just doesn't matter. can we please focus on the matters at hand that are important? like how to feed and clothe the starving naked masses slowly spiraling towards a bitter cold eternity inside the fleshless grasp of deaths eager hand? how about we focus on that? plus nothing fox news ever says matters; its all foot in mouth and up the ass material anyways. in the words of a famous fat kid: "fox news, suck my balls; now screw you I am going home".
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/fox-news-host-megyn-kelly-says-jesus-and-santa-are-white-193322244.html

comics episode 6: pets and opinions

comics episode 5: assorted idiocy