jesus: i can walk on water. [jumps in a pond and starts floating up and onto the surface].
rick: so can i asshole [burps, then fires a freeze ray into the pond and steps out on it.]
morty: oh geeze grampa rick! you- you froze jesus christ in solid ice. he- he was getting ready to walk across that pond and you froze him!
rick: well morty were screwed. i killed jesus christ.
morty: uh no rick, you could just unfreeze him.
rick: no morty hes dead and even the unfreeze setting cant save him. come on morty lets go home. [they travel back to the future and find society is at war for some stupid ***damn reason].
morty: rick look what you did! you started world war three! geeze rick!
rick: actually morty without jesus the christian faith and hebrew religion never existed so world war two never happened.
morty: well then this IS world war two! rick: uh no morty, this is world war 8, without religion people had no reason to fight. but apparently the fear of magic flying spagetti monsters gave people a reason for morality. [a flying plate of spaghetti comes up and says some stupid line].
morty: well rick what do we do.
rick: nothing morty. isnt a world without stupid religion bett- [a spagetti monster strapped with a meatball suicide bomb runs over and blows up ricks lab.] well shit [rick opens a portal in time] now we gotta go save f**king jesus. damnit morty this is your fault!
morty: how is it my fault?!
rick: i dont know morty you tell me! [rick steps through the portal and after a few seconds steps back through to the future] well morty, are you coming or what?
morty [as they travel back in time]: you know what rick when this is all over i-
rick: you what? want to THANK ME for SAVING THE FUTURE?
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